The Child in the Tower

Jungian Complexes & Internal Family Systems

For many who approach deep inner work, it is typical to focus solely on the parts of us that are wounded and attempt to resolve their grief and pain. Whether from an overwhelming childhood experience or a painful trauma in midlife, we seek to heal in hopes that we will find catharsis, peace of mind, and development on the path of individuation.

Reality shows us that this process is not simple or easy. And often, focusing purely on the wound is not enough. Maybe as we attempt to get closer to our pain and sorrow, something resists us. We run into the defensive measures that have been built up around that wound, that seek to prevent us from feeling those emotions or re-experiencing anything similar to the original event. Or, as intense emotions rise up in the healing process, we find ourselves dissociating, numbing out with distractions or substances, maybe lashing out at others.

Through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), this is the interplay between the Exile (parts that have been wounded, traumatized and banished) and the Protector (parts that seek to protect you against feeling pain through proactive and reactive measures). IFS is a therapeutic modality developed by Richard Schwartz that sees the psyche as divided into sub personalities, or parts. Each part has its own perspective, interests, memories, and viewpoint. In a Jungian framework, I relate parts to complexes which are groupings of related images, ideas, and experiences that are held together by a common emotional tone and archetypal core.

“Complexes interfere with the intentions of the will and disturb the conscious performance; they produce disturbances of memory and blockages in the flow of associations; they appear and disappear according to their own laws; they can temporarily obsess consciousness, or influence speech and action in an unconscious way. In a word, complexes behave like independent beings.” - Jung “Psychological Factors in Human Behavior”, CW 8

These so-called “splinter psyches” (as Jung refers to them) can exert a powerful force, rising into consciousness in a seemingly autonomous manner. Complexes are not inherently negative, but when the material drawn into the complex originates from an overwhelming, painful or traumatic experience, they tend to activate defensive behaviors or out-of-character emotional reactions.

“The possession of complexes does not in itself signify neurosis . . . and the fact that they are painful is no proof of pathological disturbance. Suffering is not an illness; it is the normal counter-pole to happiness. A complex becomes pathological only when we think we have not got it.” - Jung “Psychotherapy and a Philosophy of Life," CW 16

Through the journey of my own inner work, I have found IFS to be particularly insightful and refined. The theory of Jungian complexes allows me to trace certain clusters of experience to their archetypal cores and notice patterns of ideas, behaviors, and emotions. IFS further grounds these insights and provides a path towards personifying these dynamics into parts that you can dialogue with. Through this process, you come to know the part in greater detail. Their story, the fears they carry, why they act as they do, where they sit in the body, and how they can be unburdened and integrated in a more balanced way.

Meeting the Exile

Some years ago I had returned to therapy and was trying out EMDR for the first time. During the session, we were working on an old childhood memory. Seeing as my psyche tends towards vivid imaginal expression, I began the practice by recalling the memory in my mind’s eye and watching it play out. Suddenly, things began to change. The people slowly faded away, the place I had been in transformed and I was standing in a dimly lit room. As I glanced around I noticed a very young version of myself sitting on the floor playing with toys.

I noticed the room was filled with artifacts of my childhood. There was a photo of my dog and grandmother, two figures I cherished very deeply at that age. There was my old blanket and dolls. Amongst the nostalgic items I also noticed that this room was made of stone walls, and although the light shined in from a few windows, there was a sense that she was locked in, like Rapunzel in her tower.

I queried to her, asking what she was doing here. She said this was where she was told to go. I asked if she was happy. She said she was happy to have her toys but that she felt lonely. I asked her if she wanted to leave. She seemed uncertain. In that moment, something felt off, as if I was treading on dangerous ground. I felt I should stop the interaction so I told her I would come back and said goodbye.

As I returned my awareness back to the present moment, I felt a mix of emotions. What was my inner child doing in such a place? Imprisoned, alone, small comforts to help her feel at ease, yet totally cut off from life and other people. If she was Rapunzel locked in the tower, it also meant there was a sorceress that prevented her from leaving and thwarted anyone from getting too close.

Rapunzel and the Sorceress

This meeting of the exile led me to discovering the protector who watches over her. On the one hand, the protector acts like a prison warden, ensuring that rules are followed, safety measures are kept in place, and the exile securely locked away in her cell. Other times, the exile gets loose. A crack in the foundation allows her to escape, or she appears suddenly in times of relational turmoil. This is when the sorceress exerts a power I am often shocked to experience. As Jung said, this part, or complex, takes over one’s consciousness. Ego is pushed aside and a different force is present, influencing behaviors, actions and words.

For me, the sorceress has a destructive nature. As the emotions of the exile pour out of me and into the environment, she attempts to stifle the flow by cutting off the energy. Sometimes this appears as me shutting down in conversation. Other times I have a sudden urge to run away, and may actually leave the room or go walking off alone. Thoughts may rise up where I desire isolation or berate myself for having an emotional reaction. The voice tends to be punitive and harsh, although behind that intensity I can sense there is a desire to extinguish the flames of emotions that I am experiencing and bring me back to equilibrium.

As these dynamics become clearer, a path towards greater healing unfolds. To save the exile, you must first work with the protectors that have been constellated to guard and keep them at a distance. These protectors are usually stuck in their ways, burdened with responsibility of keeping the psyche and body in healthy working order. By coming to understand these parts, I see their intentions as objectively good, despite how they are enacted.

The work is slow and ongoing. Pure intellectual awareness of inner forces doesn’t change them nor slow them down. What is working so far is blending all the different pieces together. Somatic Experiencing and embodied shadow work allows me to notice what is happening in my nervous system and build resilience in the body. Jungian techniques help me track the figures in the imaginal space and understand their underlying archetypal framework. IFS shapes the parts into personifications that hold wisdom and instruction for how to heal.

For now, I know the child still lives in the tower. But I have seen her venture out a few times without raising concerns from the protector. In time, I feel they will be transformed — the exile released from her imprisonment and the sorceress free to channel her energy towards enlivenment.